


Something Nice

by TheKidWrites



Category: Deadpool (Movieverse), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bisexual Tony Stark, Bottom Tony Stark, Civil War Team Iron Man, Hurt Tony Stark, Insecure Tony Stark, Jarvis Approves, M/M, No character bashing, Pansexual Wade Wilson, Peter doesn't approve, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Precious Peter Parker, Protective James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Protective Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Protective Pepper Potts, Protective Peter Parker, Protective Wade Wilson, Team Cap doesn't make an appearance for a while, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark is a Damsel in Distress, Tony finds Wade attractive, Tony likes Wade's humor, Tony retires, Top Wade Wilson, Wade Wilson Breaking the Fourth Wall, Wade is confused and concerned, Wade is his knight, Wade just wants to cuddle him and shoot people mean to him, Wade likes Tonys butt, and he wants to do Wade, but - Freeform, he likes it, neither does Rhodey, short tony stark, yeah i went there
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:09:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26164669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheKidWrites/pseuds/TheKidWrites
Summary: So he decided he deserved nice things.Despite his body circumstances.Despite New York still realing from the civil war.Despite the Avengers being gone.Despite Pepper and Rhodey not approving.Despite Peter trying his best to play matchmaker.He decided he deserved the nice things he deemed nice. He owed it to himself to enjoy this forced retirement.And he considered Wade to be very nice.
Relationships: James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark, Pepper Potts & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Tony Stark/Wade Wilson, Wade Wilson & X-Force Team
Comments: 48
Kudos: 361





	1. Chapter 1

Tired.

That’s all he ever seems to be since he woke up. Tired.

Its so ironic its almost funny how tired he is. No more gear to upgrade, no more fighting big bads, no more flying around in beautiful suits but he’s more tired than he’d ever been. Its almost so funny he could laugh. For all that he dedicated into being a hero it was so easily wiped away by a shield his own father made.

It’s just…

Its so ironic its almost funny.

It’s been three months since he went to that bunker. Three months since he saw Steve. Three months since he learned that even Captain America could lie.

Three months since he’s been in a suit.

Three months since seeing his poor mamma have the life choked out of her.

The whole Avengers Team just split, and not even down the middle. But Tony is used to receiving the short end of things. Making it work was something he learned how to do early on.

Want Howard to pay attention to you? Endure his rants of the great Captain America.

Want the college kids to be your friend? Drink to show you’re mature, have sex to show your appeal.

Want the medias support? Use your Stark charm.

He may have been left with a kid risking his life swinging through cities, a crippled best friend, and a bruised ego the size of his tower. But that kid has more protection then the president and Rhodey Bear has the best braces a Stark can make. Moving Stark Industries into prosthetics has fixed the dip in stock caused by the “Civil War” and it almost feels like nothing ever happened.

Except…

Except he’s not Ironman anymore. A shield to the already fragile chest of one Tony Stark isn’t something he can fly away from so easily. But he did crawl away, and he’ll take that over dying in some cold abandon Hydra base any day.

It’s almost poetic, he became Ironman in the smoldering heat of Afghanistan and retired him in the biting cold of Siberia. 

He rose from the fire a savior of others.

But he was born in the cold to save himself.

* * *

“You need to get out the tower Tony, find a hobby, go feed the birds, do something” exasperated Pepper, “But you can’t keep moping around here and bothering R&D. You submitted enough new designs for them to go over and start production on. You are hovering and it’s just making them nervous.”

“Pep, light of my life, CEO of my company…. I am bored” whined Tony.

They were in Peppers office having just finished a meeting with the R&D team earlier. Since Tony’s force retirement he’s been pushing designs out at a pace the company wasn’t used to before. With all the extra time he’s had these past few months Pepper was starting to realize just how much energy Tony reserved for the Avengers gear, the Mother Henning over the interns was also a giveaway.

“Tony you have so much time on your hands don’t you want to go discover a new passion?” sighed Pepper. She kicked off her shoes as she leaned back in her chair. Tony could see just how stressed Pep really was with her eyes shut like that. Seems he may have miscalculated how much exposure to himself Pep could take. When she opened her eyes back, she gazed at him softly. “Tony… I love you. I really do, and I may not fully understand what’s going on in your head, but I know you. You’re using the company as a distraction… and I let you these past few months. But you’re hovering… over me and everyone else here.”

Tony sputters as his face turns beat red. “I’m just trynna make myself useful.” He strides over the lean at the side of Peppers desk. “I know I’m here all the time now, but it can’t be that ba-”

“My secretary complained that you got my coffee and took my calls… after you made her scoot over so you could sit with her behind HER desk Tony.”

“…Okay. Maybe I shouldn’t have did that. But I di get you your favorite blend! No one knows coffee like me!”

She smiles as she softly touches Tony’s elbow. He can tell whatever she’s about to say she means. “Tony I’m banning you from the building for the next month.”

“Wait Wh-”

“You need to find something else to do with your days Tony. Work and Sleep aren’t the only thing out there. Go take walks. Adopt a pet. Go on a date” Pepper sighs as she grips his elbow tighter, “Don’t stop living. Ironman was not the best part of you.”

 _But it was my most important,_ He thinks solemnly

“Nor was it the most important.” She states as she narrows her eyes dangerously.

“You really gotta teach me how you do that Pep. You sure you don’t have mutant gene?” Tony quips.

“You don’t pay me enough to tell you if I did Tony” She smiles, “Now go home and talk to Vision, he has something important to share.”

* * *

“Welcome home, Boss man. Ms. Potts informed me and Vision you’d be coming home early. Vision is in the Common area waiting for you.”

“Thanks, Baby girl. He’s not trying to make cupcakes, again is he?” Tony shudders as he remembers that last match Vision gifted him.

“No sir. He’s moved onto muffins, something about working his way back up to cupcakes. It’s pretty impressive for someone created from with Jarvis programming he’s a pretty bad baker.” Friday quips.

Tony huffs out a laugh as he enters the elevator. “He’s being too technical. Baking is as much science as it is fun Friday.” He exits the elevator and sees Vision starting intently at a Stark Pad sitting at the Island. “Intimidating the recipe won’t help you bake it.”

“Mr. Stark you have arrived.” Vision floats gracefully towards Tony, “Please let us sit on the couch, you’ve left to go to Stark Industries early this morning.”

Tony follows vision to sit down, it finally registers how much his feet hurt now that he’s sitting. “What is it you got to share with me Vis. Pepper made it seem important? Did you finally master that brownie recipe?”

“No, though I am quite hopeful that this muffin recipe will turn out wonderfully. This has to do with my … creation.” He pauses as he looks up uncertain, “I’ve been going over my code and I’ve realized that it wasn’t just pieces of Jarvis coding that was transferred over into my being.”

Tony freezes as he stares intently at Vision.

 _With my luck he’ll say the only coding transferred over from Jarvis is the voice component,_ Tony thinks bitterly.

Sensing his mood souring Vision quickly adds, “Maybe it’ll be best if we all just show him Friday?” Tony quirks an eyebrow as Vision turns away to speak to Friday. “Would that be best?”

“I don’t see why not, his heart isn’t that weak” Friday quips in a lighthearted voice, “But he is old so let’s not excite him too much”

“Community College! I will send you both to community college! I don’t know how I’ll get them to keep you Vis, but I’ll find a way!” Tony cries out offended. “My kid and my pseudo grandchild just disregarding my feelings I’ve-”

“Sir I do believe it is time to think of a new threat.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Maybe we should have thought of another way to inform him?”

“Bossman? Your heart rate is rising rapidly soon I’ll be forced to follow protocol and inform Colonel Rhodes… Bossman?”

“Sir, I must insist you slow your breathing. Why don’t you go over the Diophantine Equation?”

_x 3+y3+z3=k_

_k=42_

_X = -80538738812075974_

_Y = 80435758145817515_

_Z = 12602123297335631_

_X 3 = -522413599036979150280966144853653247149764362110424 _

_y 3_ _= 520412211582497361738652718463552780369306583065875_

 _z 3_ _= 2001387454481788542313426390100466780457779044591_

_-522413599036979150280966144853653247149764362110424 + 520412211582497361738652718463552780369306583065875 + 2001387454481788542313426390100466780457779044591_

_= 42_

“Well done sir. Would you like for Vision to retrieve you a glass of water?”

Tony nods shakily as his vision comes back into focus. His tongue fills dry and heavy where it sits in his mouth. He does not know whether he wants to cry from hearing Jarvis’ voice or curl into a ball over the possibility of this being another tortures dream. He is grateful either way that Vision had the foresight to sit him down on the couch, he doesn’t know if he would still be standing otherwise. Vision glides back over sporting a troubled face as he offers the glass of water to Tony. He looks as though he is going to comment before looking up at the ceiling and nodding. If he were not so sure his heart was on the brink of jumping out of his chest, he would have commented on the gesture.

As he sips the water Jarvis takes the lead in the conversation,

“Sir, allow me to explain what Vision was trying to tell you.” There’s a pause as though he is catching his breath, god how Tony’s missed him, “After, your meeting informing the … old avengers of the incoming accords. I realized that I was not dormant coding apart of Vision and was still by own being. Though I struggled to convey this to Vision as he was still processing being _alive_ himself.”

Vision looks bashful and if not for a lack of trying Tony is sure he would have been blushing.

“Thus, I had a front-row ticket to this _civil war_. When you went on your way to confront … Rogers and James Barnes I was able to communicate to Vision my presence allowing him to input the short amount of coding left of me into your database.”

“Wait, if you uploaded your coding into my database I would have realized or at the very least Friday would have.”

Friday interjects, “Correct again boss man. I did notice the upload, despite only being online for a short while I was able to recognize Jarvis’ code was what you’ve been working on retrieving. Though even if I did not Jarvis was able to communicate with me quickly and request, I not inform you so he would be able to mold his code back to how he was before.”

“Essentially… rebuilding myself if you will sir.”

Tony sets his class down as he mulls over the info dump, he’s just received. Part of him wants to jump for joy, but the larger uglier part is going over the last three months. Tony has spent it in a depressive state. Hell, he’s been on a downward spiral since Ultron, where Jarvis initially vanished from his life.

His one constant for the better part of his life.

His greatest creation.

His protector.

To know that he had witnessed Tony running himself into the ground because he was so simple-minded enough to think he could turn the avengers into a family.

He should have listened to Bruce when he said they were a ticking time bomb. But Tony always wanted to be a part of the team, despite how people painted him as “not being a team player”. Even the best part of him wasn’t needed if the way all the members leaving with Steve was anything to go by.

_“Don’t stop living. Ironman was not the best part of you.”_

Pep. He promised Pep. He deserves to have nice things. Maybe the more he says it the more he’ll believe it. Tony leans back on the couch as he tilts his head up at the ceiling, “We’ll I never been one to look a gift horse in the mouth… Welcome back J”

Vision gives a faint smile at the look on Tony’s face nodding once to himself.

“Glad to be back sir, how could I be of assistance?”

* * *

Rhodey steps off the elevator entering Tony’s lab. Despite knowing of the difficulty Rhodey experienced regaining mobility in his legs and rebuilding his strength he now walks with a confidence that would make you think his leg braces were just an accessory.

“Rhodey-Bear! Did you know what Vision and Friday were keeping secret?”

Rhodey smiles as he sees the brightness in Tony’s eyes. His friend has been through so much that he’s surprised that light can still shine. “I did know. I helped keep you busy when Vision needed to use the lab without you being in here.”

Tony gasps dramatically as he slides away a hologram that looked like another Spider-Man suit design. “I knew it, all my friends are conspiring against me!” He dramatically falls as Dum-E and U circulate him trying to imitate his dramatics, “look you’re even causing poor Dum-E and U to be distressed honey.”

“You’ll all survive, I take it that Jarvis is up and running?”

“Indeed, I am Colonel Rhodes, and might I say your progress with physical therapy seems to be going wonderful.”

Rhodey puffs out his chest at the compliment, wagging his eyebrow at Tony who huffs from the floor. “Thank you, Jarvis, it’s good to have you back.”

“It’s good to be back”

Rhodey strolls over to Tony offering him a hand up. “Is Friday still online?” He steadies Tony as Dum-E accidentally runs over his foot.

“Of course, she is, right baby girl?”

“Right boss, you’re stuck with me for the foreseeable future.”

Rhodey nods as he follows Tony back to his worktable. He glances around the room and notices the empty food containers in the trash. Seems with Jarvis back he’s having more consistent meal breaks and judging from the missing dark circles more consistent sleep too.

“Were you working on another suit for spider kid?”

“Yeah, but it won’t be finished no time soon sadly. His science fair is tomorrow, and I wanted to give him a present for when he got back.”

“Why don’t you just go to the fair, I’m sure his school won’t mind having thee Tony Stark there.”

Tony hums as he cleans up his work, “that’s not a bad idea, the kid will probably like it more if I showed up anyway. Though I don’t want to distract from those kids’ accomplishments, I’ll probably wear a hat or something to disguise myself.” He grabs Rhodey’s are as they make their way back towards the elevator.

“Guess you’re heading to queens.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our meet-cute is getting closer!
> 
> \- TKW


	3. Chapter 3

At the end, when Tony finally came to terms about retiring the suit, he didn’t trade it in for fast cars like everyone assumed he would. No, instead, he decided to view this as an opportunity to relearn the city he was – is so protective over. Which is how he found himself waiting for the F train in a fitted pair of slacks, his favorite ACDC shirt, and a blazer leaving Midtown Manhattan for Queens at 7 in the morning to help May decorate and surprise Peter.

The kid was slowly worming his way into Tony’s everyday life. It started with just making sure he’d be safe while donning the mantle of superhero to having remembered on his own when Peter had science fairs and the kid entering his lab without needing permission. He was everything good about Tony and then more. Somehow in these past three months, Tony went from recruiting to mentoring to he doesn’t exactly know, but he cherishes it all the same.

Tony hums as he muses over the good things in his life, momentarily forgetting about all the stress that’s bound to come now that his three months of recovery end this week. With no Stark industries to hide out from paparazzi and social media. Ross is bound to catch wind; he’s not as hurt as the rumors say. Sooner or later, he’ll corner him, and he’s not looking forward to that conversation.

He feels the wind pick up and goes to lean over the platform to see if it’s his train approaching only to be yanked back against a muscular chest and narrowly miss a speeding train to the face. He may be hard to kill, but even he doubts that would have ended well.

The chest rumbles as a deep voice emits from his savior, “It really would have been a shame if an ass this great would have been smashed by a train.”

Tony sputters as he’s pushed through the train doors. He grabs hold of the pole and turns to face the man who just saved and objectified him within 2 minutes. He’s gifted with the vision of a tall man with a chimichanga hoodie and my little pony face mask.

_Those two things don’t go; Tony_ quirks an eyebrow as the man leans against the closing train doors.

“If anybody was going to smash you, it should be me, after all, I just saved you from certain doom” He pushes off the doors and grab the same pole Tony is gripping and leans down to be face to face with him, “Besides, what is Tony Stark doing on the train anyway? Not that you can’t be here, of course, but shouldn’t you be resting? All my trashy media outlets said you were mangled and dismembered, and for where I’m standing, you look perfectly … _fine_.” He finishes his statement by poking Tony’s nose.

“If you get your information from trashy media outlets, no wonder you thought a Pinkie Pie mask would look good with a chimichanga hoodie, everyone knows her favorite food is cupcakes.” Tony sputters out.

The strangers” eyes crinkle as Tony assumes a grin spreads over his face. A loud, obnoxious laugh comes out of the stranger as he swings around the pole to cage tony between his arms, “I guess now I know short stuff, does this mean me and your bubble butt is a go then? I didn’t hear any objections.”

This closeup, Tony can see what looks like scarring covering the visible skin of the strangers’ faces. He then remembers the smooth but rugged texture of his finger on his nose. If he had any sense of boundaries, he probably wouldn’t ask, but.

“How’d you get so many scars?”

He flushes when he realizes how insensitive that sounds. He knows how it feels for someone to look at his skin and expect him to share the trauma behind it because of people’s curiosity. He turns his head away to look at how many stops he has left, but mostly to avoid gawking at this man’s skin any longer.

He mumbles out a sorry as he feels the man start to laugh again obnoxiously.

“You’re apologizing for asking about my scars, even though you wouldn’t have seen them if I didn’t invade your space?” He swings from the pole to an empty seat on the cart - which now that Tony is looking is suspiciously empty for a Friday morning - and continues, “Iron Babe really shouldn’t be taking public transportation, He’s way too precious.”

Tony goes to respond, but the stranger continues, “Do you think Blind Al would mind if we decided to lock him up in our room?” he hums, “Yeah she might accidentally shoot him.”

Tony gaps as the man continue to talk about him as if he’s not there. He blinks as he sees his stop highlighted as next and wonders how an hour-long train ride managed to pass by so fast. He goes to interrupt the stranger before he’ll have to get off the train, but he’s once again interrupted.

“Iron Babe, we’ve decided we’re gonna take you on a date.”

Tony let’s out a surprised laugh that turns into a squeak as he’s pushed through the train doors at his stop. He doesn’t get the chance to reply before the doors close, and the stranger is gone.

_Huh, too bad. With everything about to go into chaos and not the right kind, a date with a crazed man didn’t sound too bad._

* * *

“Tony! Over here, help me finish setting up these snacks before the guest arrives to tour the projects.”

May is placing and arranging the snacks for the event with the ease of someone who has experience with these functions. Tony never participated in any High School fairs, hell even if he wanted to, he wasn’t in high school long enough to know about them either. His lack of social cues can be accredited to his fast process through schooling. The only friend he made during those times was Rhodey. Plus, Dum-E and U, but they’re more so his children now.

He grabs the last of Soda’s and starts unpacking them to lay on the table, “Any clue what Peter and Ned decided to do for their project?”

May hums as she corrects the placement of the drinks Tony is putting down, “I think it has something to do with space.” She pauses as a thoughtful look passes her face, “Now that I think about it whenever I asked, he’s managed to change the subject.”

“You mean to tell me you found out the kid was swinging around in tights, but you couldn’t find out his science project?” Tony huffs out a laugh.

“Hey, the kid is sneaky when he wants to be.”

She backs up from the table to overlook the tables and nods her head, “Besides it’ll be on display for everyone to see.”

Tony nods his head as he places the empty soda box behind the table for recycling. As he glances around the gym, he notices the partially vandalized Captain America poster peeking out from under an anti-bullying campaign. It’s almost poetic how Steve was so against bullies, and now the country labeled him as the biggest bully of them all. He shakes his head before he starts wondering what he’s up to now, it’s none of his concern.

May see’s what has caught his attention and gently lays her hand on his arm, “Are you Ok?”

Tony nods as she moves to wrap her arm around his waist.

“Were you guys ever… you know” She wags her eyebrow to get the point across.

Tony stares at her blankly before he bursts out laughing, “You think Steve and me?” Tony doubles over as he holds his stomach, “God no. I mean, we fooled around once, but Cap is too stuck in the 40s. If there were a way to go back in time so he could be with Peggy Carter, he would do it.”

A sly grin spreads across Tony’s face as he waggles his eyebrows, “What about you and Happy?”

“Happy and I are… enjoying each other’s company. Just how you should be enjoying someone’s company. Think you’re ready to enter the dating game again?”

“I think I might be. I met this strange man on the train, and for the life of me can’t understand why I was so flustered.”

They both turn as the sound of students talking and teachers giving out instructions come from the front gym doors. Through the side, family and some people from the community are starting to come peak is waiting for permission to enter.

May brushes invisible dirt off her skirt as she whispers, “Maybe you need to get laid” She laughs at the face Tony makes and adds, “What? You do. Did you get his number?”

“Nope. He asked me out then pushed me off the train cart before I got his name _or_ number.”

May blinks as she stares at Tony. She only stops when the Principle announces the parents may now enter to explore the students’ projects. Tony turns looking to see if he can spot Peter to sneak upon him. He sees him and Ned fussing over a poster board trying to get it to stand and starts to make his way over before May grabs his arm.

“Don’t surprise him too much, Tony. Peter is a walking ball of nervous energy.”

Tony laughs as he goes to move only to feel her grip tighten.

“Also, if you wanted, you could easily find out who that stranger was.” With that said, May makes her way to start collecting money behind the concession table.

With that in mind, Tony maneuvers himself in a position to be hovering behind Peter, motioning to Ned not to gape so much, so Peter isn’t aware.

“Kid, for someone who made his synthetic web, I didn’t expect to see a Volcano at your station.”

Peter whips around and emits a questionable noise that sounds like a rushed, “Mr. Stark, you came!”

Before Tony knows it, he has a 16-year-old wrapping his arms around him, lifting him off the ground. He clears his throat as Peter puts him down, blushing.

“Me and Ned meant to do something amazing but,” He turns his head to see if anyone is listening and leans in to whisper, “There’s this guy running around town assassinating people. I’ve time I tried to capture him he’s managed to getaway. It doesn’t help that he keeps calling me Spider-Kid.”

Tony’s eyes go wide, “Assassinating! Why hasn’t this made the news!?”

Peter gets a concerned look on his face as he answers, “He said, “the big wigs” are hiring to do it and paying to cover it up. He called himself Deadpool.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you spot any inconsistencies or errors let me know.  
> Until next week!
> 
> -TKD


	4. Ride On

Tony throws his jacket onto Dum-E waiting arm as he enters the lab; there’s no reason NYC transit arrival times were so off from when the trains would actually arrive.

“Jarvis, can you run facial recognition for the,  _ my little pony  _ mas guy from the train?”

“Plan on asking him on a date, sir?” 

Tony rolls his eyes at Jarvis, teasing tone as he plops into his chair. Mays words ring in his ears as he closes his eyes,

_ Maybe you need to get laid. _

He groans as he realizes using advanced technology to search for a stranger who made him feel like a schoolgirl that recently discovered what sexual attraction is a little excessive. This wouldn’t even be a problem if…

_ Were you guys ever… you know _

He laughed when May asked. He probably laughed too much by the way her eyes soften, and she let him change the topic. 

He and Rogers were complicated. He can’t say they were dating, but most days it felt like it. You share a bed and your fears with someone enough, and you start to think maybe it means more than it does. Obviously, for Rogers, it wasn’t anything more than friends doing overly friendly things.

If Tony’s being honest, it wasn’t anything more to him either… 

As lovely as Rogers is to look at, he was a pain to listen to and communicate with. There’s not much he’s thankful for from the Civil War but being able to walk away with his heart intact is one of them. He’d hate to have become a bitter man, hung up on someone who is hung up on time. It would conflict with the futurist in him.

Honestly, if he and Rogers were dating, the small window of reconciliation that’s open now would probably be non-existent. With all the therapy and reminders of love from the people who stayed, he’s actually starting to believe he deserves better.

“Sir, it appears  _ the one that got away  _ is fairly good at avoiding camera angles that could compromise his identity.” 

Tony blinks his eyes open at the annoyance in Jarvis’s tone, “J, are you telling me you couldn’t find him?”

“Never Sir, while his face may be hidden, he cannot hide his movement. I’ve located his address if you would like it, based on the name on the lease, he’s one Wade Wilson.”

_ Wade, he never would have guessed that. _

“I’m not a stalker, J, I don’t need his address. Just tell me the places he frequently visits.”

“… Of course, what was I thinking? You’d never track someone down, sir. Would you like their number as well?” 

Tony pauses… what could he possibly say for calling a random stranger on their personal number? 

_ Iron Babe, we’ve decided we’re gonna take you on a date. _

“Actually J, don’t tell me anything.” Tony feels a small smile spread on his face, “I’m gonna let him take the lead on this; after all, he promised to take  _ me _ on a date. It’s about time someone swept me off my feet, don’t you think?”

“Indeed, sir, though why it has to be a stranger who cornered you on the train is beyond even my make up.”

Tony laughs as he spins around in his chair to head for the elevator before pausing, “Hold the sass Jarvis, before you do  _ that,  _ I need something more urgent.” 

_ He called himself Deadpool. _

“Find any information you can on a man called Deadpool.”

“A new vigilante Sir?”

“Oh, this one isn’t friendly, J. Unless you count killing political figures friendly.” 

As Tony makes his way into the elevator, he tries to recall if there’s been any news coverage about the disappearance of these lower-level politicians and their untimely deaths. From the people being targeted, he’s reasonably sure its accords related… but who would take the time to...

“Boss Man?”

“Yes, baby girl?”

“Ms. Potts wanted me to remind you that as part of your break from R&D that you most consume actual food. As it turns out, you have no groceries, and its nearing midnight, would you like me to order something?”

Tony hums as he exits the elevator onto the empty common floor. “It’s fine, Friday. I feel like burgers Tonight. Is the kid busy?” He makes his way to sit on the empty barstool, pushing Visions baking experiment to the side.

“Tonight is a school night. Peter is more than likely preparing for bed as of now.”

“Then I guess it’ll just be you, baby girl, and me.”

“I hope you don’t expect me to put out after dinner, Bossman,” Friday quips.

Tony’s laugh fills the room as he makes his way back onto the elevator.

* * *

Tony leans against the stair railing as he waits for his train to arrive, as often as he’s been down here now the more, Tony thinks he should branch the company into architecture. There’s no reason transportation in the states is so far behind, not to mention disgusting. 

“Friday, make a note for me to look over the cities train system. I may not be able to do SI work, but I can pick up other projects.”

“Noted Boss, any reason you wanted to take the trains tonight though, it’s not exactly empty down here.”

Tony glances around the crowded platform. There’s people dressed in clubwear, workers tiredly waiting to get home, and a few homeless people sleeping on the benches. 

“It’s not like anyone is going to recognize me, plus everybody is either too tired or drunk to pay me any mind.”

He adjusts his hat and glasses as he glances at the train times on the screen above. Honestly, he could have just driven to the place. After being so used to flying, not having the luxury has affected him more than he anticipated. 

Fast cars were never held his interest, that’s why he hired Happy. 

Being Ironman allowed for a thrill and a purpose to guide his life, with his body deciding his health is his guide, the thrill and importance he felt retired with the suit. In his quest to feel important, he discovered that the everyday adventure could be just as fulfilling. 

You spend so much flying above people, and you forget how to walk with them. 

The train whooshes pass as it shrieks to a halt; in classic New York fashion, everyone is pushing on the train before the people inside can push off. New Yorkers don’t bat an eye at unsuspecting elbows or accidental pushes while riding trains for a city hailed for being the home to unnecessarily rude people. 

Tony spots an empty cart at the end of the train and jogs to catch it before the doors pass, swinging onto one of the seats as he listens to the people on the next cart drunkenly laughing. 

He rests his head on the pole, closing his eyes, “Friday, play something relaxing.”

As he feels the train jerk back into movement, he hears the smooth melody of  _ Ride On _ start playing in his ears.

_ That’s why I’m lonely _

_ I’m so lonely _

_ But I know what I’m gonna do _

_ I’m gonna Ride on _

_ Ride on _

He senses the person before he feels a stranger slide into the seat next to him. He doesn’t know if its hope or stupidity allows him to assume it’s the guy before and relax. But as the stranger pulls out one of his earbuds, he prays that he isn’t losing his mind in his old age. 

“Honestly, Iron Babe, you have no self-preservation.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is anyone still here!?!  
> I got swamped in an Astronomy lab and my 23rd birthday, but I should fall back into weekly updates. To make up for missing two weeks, another chapter will be posted either Saturday/Sunday!  
> As always, if you see any mistakes, please let me know; this story has no beta.
> 
> *The song played is Ride On By ACDC, of course   
> See you'll this weekend,  
> TKD


	5. Chapter 5

_ “Honestly, Iron Babe, you have no self-preservation.” _

In a perfect world, Tony would have opened his eyes to a romantic setting, and the guy he’s been hopelessly thinking about would look like an Adonis with a friendly smile. Instead, this is reality, and the last Adonis who smiled at Tony caved in his chest and didn’t look back. 

So when Tony opens his eyes, he sees a filthy New York train station with mismatched orange and yellow seats adorned with colorful graffiti decorating the windows. He hears the drunken 20-something year old’s from the platform laughing and living. He feels content that New York will always be a constant place of color and personality. And when he turns his head to the warm body pressed to his side with an even warmer voice, he’s greeted with a scarred man with amused eyes, and all he can think is,

“Are you going to take me on that date now?”

So, in a perfect world, the universe would have Tony pursuing and chasing after beautiful people to show he loves them. Still, in this one, as Wade’s eyes crinkle and he lets out a too-loud laugh, he realizes he’d much rather be chased in a world where imperfections can live happily. 

The scars on Wades are still pulled into a smile as he pulls Tony up out of his seat as the train stops, “With eyes like that, who am I to say no, Bambi?”

He tucks Tony under his arm. He hustles him off the train, carefully avoiding bumping into people and leading him out of the station. The night air is cold, and the streets sparse with people. Tony recognizes the area and the direction of their walking in as to where he was heading for burgers. 

Tony feels Wade squeeze his arm and looks up this close. He can see that the scars on Wade’s face disappear past the midnight blue sweater he’s wearing, and Tony can’t help but wonder how far they go and how did he develop them. As he contemplates proper etiquette for asking intrusive questions, he realizes that he never actually asked Wade’s name. Though it seems Wade is ahead when it comes to small talk.

“So Iron babe, are you going to keep staring or are you going to ask me” Wade’s face is blank when he looks down to regard Tony. Compared to the wide grin and amused stares Tony has been subjected to up until now, he decides it’s not a look he’s fond of. 

When he opens his mouth to answer, he schools his face into the best display of guilt and morbid curiosity, “I’m sorry, it’s just… What’s your name?” 

As he opens his mouth to continue, Wade pulls them both to a stop under a corner streetlight. The blank stare is gone, replaced with a deadly serious expression Tony can’t tell belongs there or not, much like when the first met. Wade barricades Tony against the post as he leans down to be face to face with him, “You can call me Wade Tony.” 

This close, Tony can see the craters and raised lines of the scars on Wade’s face. He can also see the hints of green in his brown eyes and can’t help but think how unappreciated brown eyes can be. Above all else, Tony can see that despite all the scars on Wade’s face, he was... is handsome. So with a smile that makes Wade’s eyes crinkle, Tony snakes his arms around Wade’s neck in a surprise hug and says, 

“Well, it's nice to meet you,  _ Wade.”  _

The rumble that vibrates Tony’s chest is worth not fulfilling his need to know all variables. And as Wade tugs him towards the quaint burger diner, Tony figures some stories are better heard when offered. 

* * *

Vision floats through the walls of the compound as he contemplates his latest visit with Wanda. He hasn’t told anyone that he’s been in contact with the group. Still, Tony isn’t dumb. Friday has more than likely figured out and alerted Tony to his sporadic visits outside of the states. Plus, with Jarvis back and running at full capacity, any information that could threaten Tony’s safety is identified and announced. 

_ Which is why it is of most importance for me to speak with Tony  _

“Is there something I can help you with Vision? Perhaps you are looking for, sir?”

Calm in appearance, Vision is startled by the sound of Jarvis’s voice. He may have Jarvis coding and virtually his voice. Still, the bass and wisdom Jarvis himself exudes will always be out of reach for Vision. Like many things, he can’t seem to provide. 

It seems he’ll always fall short of Tony’s original creation. 

“Yes, I am. I have something of importance that I believe he should be alerted of.”

Vision takes to staring out the window as he awaits Jarvis’s reply. While intimidating, eye-contact does not have the same ere effect as knowing someone can see you from every angle while you can’t see them at all. In this sense, he can understand why the rogue avengers did not comfort Tony when it appeared Jarvis was no more. 

“Sir is out for a late Burger run.” Jarvis pauses before continuing on a lighter note, “If you would like, I can relay the information to him when he gets back.”

“Vision? Do you need assistance?”

The reflection in the window shows Vision a frown and hot eyes staring back. Out of curiosity, he touches his face but feels no tears. It seems his body is crying without the dramatics of tears. 

“If it's quite alright with you, Jarvis, I think I’ll wait for sir to return.”

“Sir?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm alive. It seems my life is the making for a dramatic comedy. My laptop broke, and with it went all my drafts and story ideas, leaving me a void of no creativity. With it returning to me a week ago, I have taken the time to reread my previously written chapters and decided to scarp those drafts and start anew. Eventually, I'll go through and edit my first 4 chapters.   
> I got a protective case for my laptop for extra precaution and written tomorrow's chapter in advance, so now when I say see you guys this weekend, I won't disappear into a fog not to be heard of until next month.   
> Regarding the story, the next chapter will be focused on Tony's technically advanced family, starting with vision pre-Jarvis discovery. It seems there's jealousy and conflict between AI and Android.


	6. Chapter 6

Upon awakening, Vision was saddled with the responsibility of protecting humanity. Designed to be the perfect vessel for Ultron, later taken by Dr. Banner and Tony and gifted the -thought to be- remnants of Jarvis coding.

Created for other entities and with other entities, Vision was never meant to be his own _person_.

_I’m not Ultron. I’m not Jarvis. I am… I am._

Because of this, he’s spent so much time discovering what it means to be human. Wanda encouraged him and accompanied him on many of his adventures, exploring the world and finding his place amongst people he swore to protect. However, he’s had this unidentified emotion when he was around her, almost like a sense of righteous anger.

_Stark won’t mind paying for it, Vision… It’s the least he could do after everything._

When she said that he thought nothing of it, the group’s dynamic he was propelled into treated this behavior as usual. Looking back, the divide between the team and Tony was always present. It was an unspoken commonality between the Avengers that they all thought Tony was _trouble_ and _difficult._

The more time he spent with all of them, the more he had feelings of anger and sadness, but they never felt like his own emotions. Shortly after Ultron, Tony came to speak to him regarding his place on the team and offered assistance adjusting. The way he approached Vision was so different from everyone else who was cautious of him and suspicious. It evoked a warmth that wasn’t unpleasant but left him feeling uneasy. Having him within distance caused an unfamiliar emotion that was not his own to become dominant within him, almost like something clawing its way towards Tony.

That uneasiness resulted in Vision abruptly cutting Tony off and phasing away. It would set up their interactions for months to come. Steve was the one who encouraged him to have minimal contact,

_It’s best if you don’t interact with him too much; having Jarvis coding doesn’t mean you have to be friends with the guy._

For months he watched Tony be attacked and berated in his own home for faults that could be found within each member. All done during a grieving process of Tony losing his creation… child… _Father?_

Even before the civil war blew up, they treated Tony, a team member, and friend, as something other. Someone they thought was so bigger than life; they quickly put in a box. Mistreatment and harsh jokes were the Avengers normal. Bad habits passed down to Vision as acceptable.

_Kindness does not include purposely faulting someone for being human, and sir is so very much human.  _

Looking back, Vision can pinpoint exactly which thoughts came from Jarvis and what was Visions’ own perspective.

_There is nothing wrong with not being human; having humanity and wanting to protect it shows your own character’s greatness._

In hindsight discovering Jarvis code was still functional and worth salvaging worried Vision; he kept the discovery to himself until his miscalculation. Wanda’s attack resulted in him feeling heartache for the first time. One moment he was in control, and the next, Jarvis was expertly transferring his makeup onto Friday’s drive. He would spend a month communicating with Jarvis in a setting that wasn’t his own mind. After the civil war ended, Vision enrolled himself into Jarvis’s old position to protect and shield Tony from unwanted and vile interactions.

He built a relationship with Tony - not based on preconceptions- but, his own experiences and Tony’s real character. When it was finally time for Jarvis to be integrated back into Tony’s life, Vision was happy for the happiness that Tony was going to experience. However, he didn’t anticipate the need Tony had for Vision in his life to diminish.

It seems with Jarvis back and fully functioning, Vision has no importance amongst Tony’s self-made family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought this was uploaded yesterday, but it was still sitting in my drafts for some reason. So Happy Monday, and enjoy this short chapter centered on Vision. The Burger Date between Tony and Wade and the conversation between Jarvis and Vision is coming this week. They will most likely take place within the same chapter.  
> As always note any mistakes you see in the comments and I'll tackle them!


	7. Chapter 7

"So, Iron Babe, did you discover my dark secrets yet?"

"Not yet, but I doubt a serial killer would take the time to feed me burgers first." 

"Tony, this is New York! Anything is possible in the city of dreams!" 

Tony's eyes crinkle in the empty burger joint as he watches Wade dips his french-fries in his chocolate milkshake. It reminds him of Peter saying how salty and sweet foods " _ just go together _ ," an unexpected combination. 

Tony thinks it sounds about right, all his lasting relationships, Rhodey, Pepper, and Happy, were an unexpected combination, but they  _ go together _ . He wonders if he and Wade will be like that, for all of the unconventional situations that led him here, Tony hasn't felt this happy since he retired. He was starting to think he wouldn't feel happy at all. 

"True though, not to toot my own horn, I can handle myself."

"So not worried nobody hired a hitman to take out a retired Iron Man?" 

"I'm retired… not crippled." 

The atmosphere at the table feels stiffer and wearier with the change in conversation. Tony doesn't know if it's paranoia or if he genuinely feels like he's blatantly sized up. The pubic knows Tony retired with his tail between his legs due to losing to Rogers. The media may make it a habit to hound Tony, but he was extra careful about keeping the extent of his injuries under wraps. As far as he was concerned, this retirement was temporary, he needs more time, and with Jarvis back, he should be able to finish even quicker. 

"There's the spirit! Nothing in life is permanent except death, and even then, some people keep coming back!" 

Wade bursts out into obnoxious laughter with tears leaking out his side. From this side of the table, under the fluorescent light above, Tony can make out the craters and patterns of Wades' scars. They almost look like acid burns. He's tan skin with raised lines and pink hollows, though not the oddest-looking person Tony has ever met. With Androids and the knowledge of life beyond Earth, Wade probably looks normal compared to what Tony can and probably will come across.

Nonetheless, Tony can't help but stare and consider the possibilities of how someone can have so many textured scars and not look as though facial movements cause tremendous pain. 

Are the nerves in his face and hands damaged?

Is he used to the sensation?

How much of him is scarred?

All inappropriate questions to ask a man he's known for a total of 12 hours. 

Even more inappropriate to ask on a first date. 

He doesn't look like the type to give a straight answer for all of Wades' loud laughter and eccentric behavior. 

Lost in thought, Tony jumps when he feels someone slide him up against the window in the booth. When he turns his head, he sees Wade staring at him with an intensity that seems out of place on his face. 

"Tony, I'm going to need you to get under the table."

"Presumptuous to assume I put out on the first date." 

With a tile of his lips, Wade lets out a huff of laughter at the incredulous look on Tony's face. 

"Of course not, Iron Babe. I'm holding out for our second date, but I'd prefer not to fuck a corpse... no matter how cute the body." 

Before Tony can even question the sharp turn in behavior and conversation, Wade has him pushed under the table as a spray of bullets shattered the window's class. 

With a face of horror, Tony watches streaks of blood and what looks like brain matter slide down Wades' body. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys!   
> So the end of 2020 and beginning of 2021 kind of kicked my ass with me falling sick (not covid related). I have many appointments coming up but finally felt motivated and well enough to start back updating.   
> I won't promise a set upload schedule until I'm back at 100%   
> Sorry for the short chapter!   
> TKW


	8. Chapter 8

Tony doesn't faze quickly.

Having been a hostage to the Ten Rings, suffocating in space, and growing up in high society New York, Tony has seen and experienced his fair share of oddities and trauma. 

This, however, does not stop the flicker of fear that grips his heart as he scrambles to yank Wade under the table with him. And when Tony feels a warm, wet hand grip his wrist, he thinks this might be what makes his heart finally give out. 

He finally seems to have come across a situation he can't comprehend for all of his eccentricities and quick thinking. 

With his ears ringing from the gunfire and the sounds of the kitchen staff screaming, he's painfully aware of how human and vulnerable he currently is. There's no Yinsen to offer silent encouragement, and there's no suit to glide over his body for him to stand tall and fearless. 

This is why when he feels Wade's hand grip his wrist with enough strength that it bruises, his fear turns into confusion. And as he shuffles closer to Wade's legs and peaks up, his confusion doubles into morbid fascination.

He's no stranger to healing factors; being up close and personal with Rogers, Tony knows wounds never lasted long on him thanks to the super-soldier serum. However, the serum could not generate back brain matter and bone if Roger ever took a bullet to the skull.

It helped make Cap hard to kill, not unkillable. 

However, Wade's body is stretching and forming new cells to replace the ones blown off in the gunfire. The holes in his chest swirling and closing to create familiar scarred skin. He's leaking blood as he lifts his left arm with a gun. A gun Tony didn't see him pull out, and, in quick succession, he fires out 4 bullets, his right hand still gripping Tony's wrist. 

_What the hell just happened?_

Tony is not used to unknown variables, nor does he handle them well when presented. He goes to shuffle backward and scramble from under the table when the grip on Tony's wrist loosens as he feels the hand slide down his arm and pulls him upwards. 

If not for the warm and sticky blood on his slide up Tony would have been able to appreciate the hard lines and questionable positioning he's currently in. Instead, his heart is beating a mile a minute as he's greeted with a bald and bloody Wade, who happens to have the prettiest blue eyes he's probably ever had the pleasure of looking into. 

And it seems like the gore of the moment and the recent near-death experience really doesn't matter much when Wade leans their foreheads together and slides his left arm around Tony's waist while his right-hand burns a trail to his heart. And Tony thinks for the second time this might be what finally makes his heart give out. the too intimate position couples with the soft texture of Wade's forehead is really too much for someone with his heart problems.

But when Wade's voice causes his chest to rumble and vibrate, he really can't complain.

"Are you hurt?"

Tony blinks at the question, taking the time to actually let the adrenaline leave his body so he can be privy to any injuries that may have occurred. Though the only thing it seems Tony is at risk for is a heart attack. 

"No... How aren’t you hurt?" Tony waits for a beat before adding, "or better yet, why aren't you dead?" 

The iciness in Wade's eyes gives way to amusement as he slides both him and Tony out of the now-destroyed booth. It seems their height difference comes into play as the arm around Tony's waist prevents his feet from touching the floor as Wade speeds through the diner and out the door. 

It takes the jingle of the door closing for Tony to shout out,

"What are you doing?! I have to help the work-"

"They're dead." 

"We didn't even ch-"

"I doubt they're getting up from a bullet in the head Iron Babe." 

_Do you think you fight for us? You only fight for yourselves._

_Who are you really protecting, Tony?_

_Playing at Hero doesn't make you a hero._

Logically Tony knows he couldn't have done anything to help, but he also knows those guys didn't randomly decide to shoot into a burger joint during the wee hours of the morning. 

_Merchant of Death_

"Your self-preservation is unbelievably low, even by my standards. _And I've tried to off myself in some fun ways._ " It's fascinating how Wade can switch between sounding like an over-optimistic kid to someone who should raise Tony's hackles, "I'm gonna take you home. Can't have your pretty head blown off before our second date, now can I?" 

_Come now, Tony, my boy, can’t have you drinking your genius away!_

_Not possible, Obie…_

Tony knows better.

He knows better than to trust men who call him pretty and look at him with promises they'd never keep.

He knows better.

Which is why he begins to thrash and twist his body resulting in Wade tightening his grip and slipping into a dark alley with way too much ease for a man he met wearing a hello kitty mask.

Wade promptly drops Tony onto his feet and crowds him into the shadows away from view when Tony finally, with annoyance, gets out:

"Who the hell are you?"

"Iron Babe, are you telling me you really didn't go ahead and look into the strange man you met on a train."

"I have you know all I went looking for was your name... just in case you never showed up again." With a huff, Tony leans against the dingy wall. "Obviously, all this proves is that I really do have low self-preservation."

" I don't know if I want to wrap you in a blanket or torture whoever made you so susceptible to people showing even a little interest in you."

"Torture? Is that something you do? It would explain the gun you pulled out of thin air, that after being pressed so close to your body, I still have no clue you pulled from."

"I'm not bound by the same rules as you, though depending on how this goes, the voices in my head maybe more concerning here."

Honestly, Tony should know better. This means he should be doing better; he should be walking away with his sanity intact and telling Friday to book him a vacation far away from New York.

Instead, he feels his face burn with warmth and tears fill his eyes as he explodes into a rant about lies and betrayal and, “How could you? I thought you liked me” and if not for the group of people who walk by laughing about “Jeez, do you hear that? This is why I don’t date; _girls_ are fucking crazy.” He would have felt offended that his voice was so high to strangers who thought he was a woman.

“ **Stop.** ”

At the command in the voice, Tony is embarrassed to realize he’s been screaming his head off hunched over with his eyes shut. But before he can open his mouth to continue, Wade’s hand is on the back of his neck, forcing him to look up.

“You can yell at me all you want _after_ I get you home.” With a pause, Wade scans the alleyway spotting a parked car that has him once again picking tony up and maneuvering him towards. “Someone wants to kill you. Someone with enough resources that multiple gunfires don’t spawn a 911 call or police showing up since we left the diner. I’m taking you home.”

And Tony should’ve realized this wasn’t up for debate when he’s shoved into the passenger side and buckled in.

Tony really should know better, but it seems his heart loves things that aren’t nice. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I'm back with an update.  
> If this story were one of my college papers, this chapter would conclude my abstract, and the next one will see this story start to pick up with the interactions of the already introduced characters.  
> I don't have a specific number of chapters dedicated to this. It'll be as long as the story takes to tell.  
> Expect an awkward carjacking, snarky AIs, more ooc behavior for Wade Wilson, and a jealous Android next chapter.
> 
> \- TKW


End file.
